Tanhayi

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Ho chaandni jab tak raat deta hai har koi saath Tum magar andheron mein na chhodna mera haath
Wafadaari ki vo rasmein nibhayenge hum tum kasmein Ek bhi saans zindagi ki jab tak ho apne bas mein
Dil ko mere hua yakeen hum pehle bhi mile kahin Silsila ye sadiyon ka koi aaj ki baat nahin
One of my all-time favourite songs.I simply love the simplicity of expression, the honesty of feeling and the innocence of hope in it.It is one of those notes that calls my soul to me.Now-a-days,however,every time I listen to it,I find the simplicity unbelievable,the honesty skeptical and the hope laughable.I keep wondering will there be a time when I would be singing these notes to someone. Ha! now I come to the actual point- why?
I crafted the world around me with a lot of love and effort.I am so comfortable and happy in my world that I do not feel the need of anyone.Ironically , I feel the absence of someone who has never set foot in my world. When I set to resolve this paradox I found that my perception of not needing anyone is just denial of the need. Somewhere down the lane in trying to understand it(?), I lost hope of fulfilling it :). I see people around me through the window of my world and -- I dunno if its because the glass is tinted or is it because of the way I look at it -- I see them as shadows with no defined lines. Sometimes, it makes me wonder - have I become so cynical?
I take more pleasure in my solitude rather than in the company of someone new.I feel disconnected with everyone around me because I know ultimately I have to fight it out on my own.So I prefer solitude because its the only place that is left uncrowded.
Being alone is scary but it is not as scary as feeling alone in a relationship, aint it?

Choices in life

Why do I find myself sandwiched between two choices-- One which I would really want to do and One I ought to do...I am sick and tired of getting myself to make a choice...why does it always have to be that difficult...it is a gut wrenching feeling I tell you -- to get yourself to the point where it needs all your will power not to succumb to the temptation! you just postpone the moment till where you have to take the decision- which is even worse because you always know the outcome and in all this you have enough time to pine wishing for otherwise...Story of life I guess!